How Inclusive are we?

When I studied theology at the Vancouver School of Theology, the contemporary Political correct ethos of our present day made us discuss "inclusion". The question was, if we are inclusive then who are we excluding?

In the United Church of Canada, a liberal progressive church which supports and ordains gays and lesbians and speaks openly of being prosame- sex marriage, I suffered under a lesbian supervisor. She did not see the well meaning me, the gay HIV postive me. She saw a bearded bald middle aged man and that was enough for her to act towards me from her place of woundedness and internalized homophobia. For my part, I was in victim mode trying to understand what my ministry would look like as a gay HIV positive minister? I looked to my supervisor, who quite honestly, told me "she could not help me." I understand now, even though I worked my way through hurt, pain and anger. I am left with the observation that the United Church with its lay committees and councils was sorefully inadequate to help me. In the end, I felt like I was turned away, unsupported and not their problem. It was all my fault!

My problem wasn't that I was Gay, or even that I was HIV positive and it was that I was open and honest about it. In the end, I felt "excluded." So again, I ask when a group say, they are inclusive, who are they excluding? The lesson is no one person outside of me is able to take responsibilty or in the end give me the confidence to believe in myself. The in-dwelling spirit is the only source of knowledge and responsibilty and then it can be reflected in those around you.

Over the last year or so, I practiced being a radical faerie. In this context, I discovered that in building what I needed for a safe, nurturing and inclusive community; I needed to challenge myself to be open to women who might want to be faeries. Interesting enough, there have not been any women who wanted to be radical faeries in Vancouver; at least, I have not met them at faerie coffee. Then a delightful and radiant spirit of a Queer late twenties adult showed me in his wisdom how as gay and bisexual men the vancouver radical faeries perpetuate an exclusion of women that pays tribute to the Shaughnessy Heights Tennis club. Male woundedness not only keeps us from relating well to one another, but I am aware of my own woundedness in the way I relate to some women and others. But I want to face my insecurities now and I want a safe place to be suppported in my quest for healing community.

At 47, I may be too old to really heal as much as I would like to in a queer space. Is it possible that as an older gay man, I am doomed to repeat the exclusion and miscogyny of my culture? I know I cannot change others, but I do know I have control over who I include in my life and who I exclude. While I am most certainly discerning, I hope it is in matters of character and integrity and authenticity and not on what someone does with their genitials or whether or not they fit into my gender constructs. I hope my young spirit friend does not lose hope and continues to urge my generation to hear the wisdom in his voice. I know his voice is my voice.......

Blessings the faerieshaman

Gay and Non-Gay: It is a matter of perspective

I read today in the Book, Golden Men: Gay Men at Mid-Life, it is better ot use the terms "gay and non-gay" in reference to differences in society. The change in reference point moves the empahsis from the majority straight population to the more cultural-centric position of the gay person.

As a gay man, this makes sense to me. I understand the world and interpret my life experiences from the vantage point of my orientation. It does not help me to always pesuppose my experience as that which is not standard or "normal." Being gay is as normal as being non-gay! Gay people share similarities and differences arising out of our worldview and our personal experiences as members of a society that values same sex expression of affection.

This is just a few words for thought......

Call to Faerie Arms.....

At faerie coffee, this morning, I told a few faeries I was thinking of starting a curmudgeon circle. This would be a circle for faeries to gripe and think of creative ways of expressing our anger at the injustices in our communities. In Vancouver, there is an organization called, "QUAK" Queers United Against Capitalism. But I want to create a group that is more suitable to my age because of my ripe old age of 47 and 1300 in soul age.

Possiblities are planning "guerrilla theatre." A theme or a cause would be named and a public action planned. Whatever the event, it would be unannounced to the public so they could be drawn into the action. In this way, the protest statement or dramatization of a poignant reality might be made more evident to spectators and actors.

What are your causes? The lack of funding for HIV/AIDS by the British Columbia government and the Canadian government? The possible closing and relocation of St. Paul's Hospital in Vancouver might be some causes for theatrical action.

At the very least, we could sit over coffee or beverage and gripe tp keep each other company!

the Faerieshaman

Do Personal Comments belong in a News Broadcast

This evening on the CTV news, Colleen Christie passed a personal remark while delivering the news. I am tired of hearing news anchors banter to fill in the air waves with silly uninformative and otherwise useless trash talk. But for me, it was an off the cuff remark about the cost of the Queen's visit to Saskatchewan.

While the cost of the Monarch may be a matter for discussion, it does not belong to one person to denigrate what for some of us is a national symbol. I love the take Royal Air Farce does on the Queen, but this was done in a spirit of fun, Colleen Christie's comment was mean spirited and done in a derogatory way.

Ms. Christie has shown how tactless and unimaginative she is in her manner. I hate to think that looks are a plus and intelligence is lacking in one of our news anchors. But these are only my personal opinions although they are heartfelt. I really do feel some dismay at how the standards of courtesy have disappeared from our air waves. The Asper family really do have a lot to answer for in their control of the news print and the air waves. Thank the fortune of this country that so far we stillhave the CBC.

Stephen Harper Bursts a Blood Vessel

The morning news this morning reported, Stephen Harper under the exertion of trying to force the government to fall burst a blood vessel. He collapsed after his face turned red and he pissed himself, just after announcing, " I will be holding my breath until I get what I want and my party will not be doing any work today!"

A stunned Prime Minister Paul Martin said, to honour the memory of the late leader of the Conservatives, I will have a confidence vote right away. The country rejoiced to see the House of Commons unite in this tribute to the leaderof the conservative party and in a rousing speech Peter MacKay endorsed the Liberal Budget and everyone voted in a show of confidence in the leader.

It was not until a few hours later that Belinda Stronach told Peter during their long evening tryst that the vote of confidence was for Paul Martin and not for Stephen Harper. Now he realized why Gilles Duceppe seemed a little out of humour.

Alright, all of the above was a bit of fantasy. What a pity! Stephen Harper and his colleagues are beginning to appear a little to intense and churlish. Doesn't this idiot realize his behaviour and odd alliance with the Bloc is dangerous for the country and he is damaging the federalist cause as much as the Liberal party has over the last few years!

For goodness sake, Mr. Harper, Canada does exist outside of your little partisan perspective and the country is a greater cause then your hopes for being the leader of the government. John Reynolds looks like a diabolical Egor to the Conservative Frankenstein; Peter MacKay is the cross dressing.....

oh my that is the Rocky Horror Picture show.

from your faerieshaman

Check your information!

Over the last year or two I have noticed when ever I have mentioned trhe Green Party the usual outcry from NDP supporters is they were just another fiscally conservative group like the Liberals! I bought the argument, I passed on to others this statement without looking at the policy book of the Greens.

I fell into "the trap." I encourage everyone to, at least, have a look at he Green Book on the Green Party website and see if it has any resonance with you. Does it give you a sense of hope? Do you think it offers a new vision and a new way of doing politics?

Let me know what you think? But please do this after looking at the Green Book!

Please support the STV system by voting yes. Let's try to change how our electoral system works out!

From the faerieshaman

Don't Tell me NOT to Vote for the Greens!

Suddenly, my indifference to Carole James has turned to dislike. I caught a news clip showing the leader of the NDP telling folks to not vote Green, but to vote for the NDP if they don't want the Liberals.

I am sorry, Carole, I would appreciate it much more if you would continue to tell folks why they should vote for the NDP. I do remember, it was the NDP who started a system of home inspections for people on GAIN or social asisstance back in the mid 1990s!

I find it repulsive for any politician of any stripe to tell me to vote for them because that is the only way my vote counts! My vote always counts. I vote! The Greens have been becoming more and more attractive to me......in the Vancovuer Burrard riding, we have a gay man running for the Green Party and he offers something the NDP don't...... a policy book that is radically different from the same old, same old...... I do not want another government who would treat me the same as the Liberals only softer! I want a government and a party that will respect my needs as someone who lives on a low income and needs help from time to time without stigmatizing me or making me feel like I am asking for special consideration and then treat me like I am not deserving!

I like the Guaranteed Livable Income on page 22 of the Green Book. Now that is something to vote for! Also, any income earned is allowable up to the GLI !

Just think if it wasn't for Carole James, I wouldn't have looked at the Green book to find out what I needed to vote for!

Get out on May 17th and vote......and vote for what you need not what a party is willing to offer! Vote for the party that fits your need or personality etc.....but vote...in fact. I believe it should be the law that a person votes. Everyone enjoys the life under the system in place, the one obligation should be the duty to vote on an election day! Please take this under advisement and not an order......but please vote!

Canadian Politicians

It was not until tonight that I realized the disgust I have for politicians! It doesn't matter to me what party they belong to or what they say. I have learned political pragmatism of the late 20th early 21st century means stating what you must to get elected, but when you are elected forgetting how to be pragmatic and hold on to a party line or an ideology, even if the ideology is doing harm or out of step with the electorate. The BC liberals only have to speak to the lower classes at election time, so they can be pragmatic and say outlandish things like " we inherited a deficit," or we have saved the province from ultimate disaster! I have never seen such drama queens and believe me, I have either been one or seen a few!

Someone phoned from the Tim Stevenson campaign and asked if they had my vote. It was not enough that I said "yes", I was asked did I want to attend a breakfast / brunch for 20.00. I said no.....I have been one of the ones affected by the BC Liberals. Then did I want to campaign with Tim. With this, I surprised myself. I said no! I do not want to be seen with any politician! I don't trust the lot of them, no not even the one I vote for because I know in the end it will be policy or ideology that will rule the day.

The federal politicians have worn my patience thin! I am sick of the House of Commons in Ottawa being treated as a place to throw names and push party agendas that have no regard to the well being of the country. At least the NDP are trying to both make the Parliament work and at the same time give some benefit to the country. The NDP and the Liberals are, at least trying to do something concrete. But I realize the situation has to be shared by all of them and I am ashamed of them all!

My hope would be that in the next election, there are a number of citizens who are called to social responsibility and service who put themselves forward as independents! Considering that most of the politicians are heterosexuals, I think the straight folks haven't a moral place to stand when it comes to the repulsiveness of their behaviour in politics. Having said that, I hope a number of gays and lesbians put them in the running as independents. Oh, and Lorne forget it, if we don't elect you to the BC government, we won't vote for you as a Conservative for the federal house!

Water, water everywhere, but not a drop to drink?

Water is essential to surviving. We cannot refuse water for long, even if it is used in several of the beverages we drink. For many who have suppressed immune systems bottled water is a requirement.

But for many it is a convenience. The question we should ask ourselves is from what source is this water being taken. Is there a chance, I am being charged for water that has come directly from a tap. I encourage you to read the article below......


http://dominionpaper.ca/features/2005/04/23/from_the_t.html

The New United States: The Rise of Fascism

What has happened to Uncle Sam? Here is a suitable warning for Canada. Are you willing to see if Stephen Harper and his neo conservative team mates in Ottawa have a desire to create Texas North!

http://www.counterpunch.org/kalmbacher05042005.html

Let us never go down this road in Canada!

Forgiving My Father!

Last night, I watched a documentary on CBC which graphically portrayed the liberation of Holland by Canadian troops. The programme used actual film footage as well as some re-enactment scenes. It gave a sombre and realistic impression of what the Canadian soldiers were up against in the wet and open terrain, outnumbered almost one to every 2-3 Nazi Soldiers.

I felt a flood of forgiveness for my father! My father had physically abused me as a child. I remember him for his, at times, unrelenting and horrific temper. But all of a sudden, I understood. My father landed with the Allies on June 6th 1944 at Juno Beach and made his way with the Royal Canadian Army Service Corp into Holland. He was very proud of his country and the part, he played in the liberation of Holland.

Today, I am walking tall, and that is no "short order", for a man who stands 5'5" Let's remember the gift we have in this nation of queer and straight families. Do not let any politician squander the richness of our heritage and make a mockery of the sacrifice of Canada's generation of service. Let's do our part......

From the Faerieshaman

Religion vs Spirtuality: A Queer Perspective

Religion teaches us to look to a G-d beyond us. Historically and in the orthodox traditions G-d is male and re-inforces the place of the male in the power structure. These traditions overlook the feminne aspect of G-d which is also available in the Hebrew Scriptures. Most importantly, though, our inherited traditions teach us to look outside of ourselves to find direction and the divine; at least, this is empahsized to the cost of our won empowerment.

Spirituality is "the inward life" which is discovered during the night of the dark soul. New Age spirituality is critiqued by religion because of this emphasis on the self and the inward centred divine which is in all things. Religious bodies dismiss New Age as narcissistic. This may be true as it corrects the imbalance on the outward dependence on G-d.

However, my queer intuition tells me it is not an either- or proposition but an and both necessity for us to have a healthy spiritual life. There are times when we need to ask "a G-d beyond" for help and there are times when we need to rely on "the I am responsible for my choices" inward divine spark. There are times in our lives when we play the victims and then, there are the glorious moments of enlightenment. The moment of self-discovery and liberation from outward authority built on our own sense of creativity and connection with the divine.

The trick is to know the difference between when we need support and we need to be active and feel in control. The greek meaning of the word religion comes from religio, meaning to connect and so perhaps, connecting our spirituality to religion is a necessity if that is the path we choose. Or, on the other hand, it may mean we must attach our religion to our spirituality. In this way, we are responsible for our own thinking and we halt deference to religious figures and leaders who are not consistent with the spiritual teachings of Jesus or the charismaic founders of their own path.

This gives Queers, like myself, an opportunity to engage religion and the less independent thinking religious leaders and their followers without reaction. Our truth relies on the strong centre of who we are and takes power away from their compassionless fear mongering hearts. They are the lost ones............

Blessings from the Faerieshaman

Let's Remember the Real Stephen Harper

It is an appropriate time for us to reflect and remember what Stephen Harper stands for in his quest to establish the New Right in Canada!

http://www.stephenharpersaid.ca/ncc/footnote26_en.html

If ever we have had to stand on guard for Canada, it is now! While the Liberals may have sold us a poor bill of goods in the past, it should not encourage us to give full rein to Stephen Harper. He would go beyond what is acceptable to the canadian electorate to push an agenda; an agenda, he is not willing to own outrightly.