My Next Book Discussion group at Gayway

Dancing Around the Volcano by Guy Kettelhack

This will be a seven week discussion group looking at the sex lives of gay men. As an alternative to the traditional monogamous model, he wants to tell the truth about the sex gay men are really having.

Using the voices of different men who tell of their experiences, Kettelhack questions the assumptions bout the “pathology” of promiscuity, sexual compulsion, sadomasochism, fetishes and celibacy. These personal stories are often sexy, sometimes funny, almost always poignant in their honesty, and startling in their insights. We hear about everything from hustling to monogamous gay relationships, from the baths to the private bedroom, from fisting to French-kissing. What emerges is a sex-positive take on the whole gamut of gay male sexual behaviour.

Celebrating the ingenuity with which gay men manage their sexual behaviour and aggressive drives and fantasies, Dancing Around the Volcano is a passionately pro-sex book with potentially healing – even revolutionary – implications for everyone.

It was the Worst of Times...Liberal Rule in BC

It really does behoove us to know the political stance of the businesses we support. I live in Vancouver British Columbia and over the last four years, I have witnessed a relentless attack of economic violence on my community.

The community in the West End of Vancouver living with HIV / AIDS feeling already vulnerable, had that feeling exacerbated by the ruling liberal party. If that was not enough, the MLA for the West End, Lorne Mayencourt, a gay man and someone who helped to support the HIV/AIDS community by establishing "Friends for Life," an older house in the West End, where folks with a terminal illness may receive alternative treatments and feed body and soul at planned brunches and dinners. So it was with some dismay, the gay HIV positive community in Vancouver watched as Lorne appeared to betray even himself!

All of a sudden, DBII status, a status given to people with incurable life threatening illnesses that had been designated as a "permanent" status became subject to review! Some of the guys I knew, received a "long and tedious re-application form with the notice of their review; others waited for the hammer to fall with the stress of the fear. Then a friend of mine, who had been diagnosed with a cancerous brain tumour, after having hung on to life despite ups and downs due to AIDS, with the financial support of the ministry, received word his nutritional benefit was to be ended.

I was very upset for my friend! I went and spoke with Lorne Mayencourt. A few weeks later, the decision for my friend and for all the other people had been reversed. Lorne told me it was because of his hardwork, but I know for a fact it was because of the very persevering presentation of the case(s) by the advocates at BCPWA and AIDS Vancouver! Lorne prided himself on his action, I, on the other hand, still wonder why my friend who died six weeks later needed to live through this ordeal at all so close to the end of his life!

Now here is my personal confession.

I am not a vegetarian and sometimes I avail myself of fast food! I rarely, if ever, enter a McDonalds. I go to Whitespot, if Iwant a burger, which is a BC Company. However, I have gone many times to A&W, mainly for the onion rings and so it is with dismay that I realised my money has supported a Liberal friendly company. It, just shows you, how easily we can betray our own causes. I urge everyone who reads this to shop and consume if you must, but please do it with consciousness. This way, we always know the real cost of our pleasure and necessity.

The following link takes you to an article that highlights my message.....

http://www.sevenoaksmag.com/features/54_feat2.html

Your faerie shaman..........love and energy.

Une Memoire de Pierre

Lavender LivesPierre Trudeau1919 - 2000
by Todd Richmond365Gay.com Features Editor
Not all Lavender Lives are gay or lesbian.

We have many friends who have been instrumental in helping us along the road to freedom. One of them was Pierre Elliott Trudeau. May 15,1969 Canada decriminalized homosexuality. It was the first time in the New World that it was legal to be gay or lesbian, and it marked the beginning of our quest for full civil rights; a battle that is still not over.

We can thank the tireless efforts of early gay campaigners. But we must also recognize that it was Pierre Elliott Trudeau who listened. Joseph Phillippe Pierre Ives Elliott Trudeau was born on October 18th 1919, in Montreal, Quebec. Pierre was the 2nd child of Charles Emile (father) and Grace Trudeau. His father was a successful Montreal businessman, his mother was of Scottish ancestry.

Pierre attended a long list of schools throughout his life. Trudeau received an honors Law Degree from the University of Montreal and an honours degree in Political Economics from Harvard. As well Trudeau received a number of honorary degree's from various Universities around the world.

Pierre was raised in an English and French speaking household.
Trudeau was elected to the House of Commons in 1965, as a Liberal. In 1967, he was appointed Justice Minister by then Prime Minister Lester B.Pearson.

It was a chilly Ottawa day that Trudeau rose in the House of Commons and uttered those now famous words: There's no place for the state in the bedrooms of the nation."

With that he introduced the legislation removing most homosexual acts from the criminal code. His battle in the cabinet room to get that legislation is intense. Western Liberals and many from farming communities in Eastern Canada were opposed. The fight in the Liberal caucus was even more heated. Finally he persuaded Pearson to make the Commons vote mandatory, ensuring its passage.

A few years later, when Person retired, Trudeau was elected the 15th Prime Minister of Canada, and "Trudeaumania" began. The charisma of the man swept the country. Most of his time in office was spent trying to unite Canada's two cultures. By bringing Canada's constitution from England, where it was originally enacted, to Canada where it belonged, he accomplished the second great act for gays and lesbians.

He enshrined in the Constitution a Bill of Rights: The Charter of Rights and Freedoms. It is that Charter which today is used to successfully to fight for the balance of our rights. From the case of an Alberta school teacher, Delwin Vriend, fired for being gay, to the "M" versus "H" case where the Supreme Court recognized the rights of spouses, the Charter has defined who we are as gays and lesbians.

It will be used again when the battle over Gay and Lesbian marriage reaches the High Court.
Trudeau died in October, 2000. At his funeral his son Justin in an emotional eulogy summed his father up most beautifully, "He has kept his promises and earned his sleep."

The Moral High Road?

I do not believe religion and morality belong together. I have learned that the Hebrew Scriptures were written decrying the lack of justice between humanity and G-d, humanity and its leaders and amoungst all of us in society. The Christian scriptures, as well, opined about our lack of humanity when it comes to dealing with others in justice and truth.

So in this enlightened age, as right wingers in Canada scream about the harm done to them if same sex marriage is condoned by law, it might be useful to point to their lack of consistency in how their support of some economic ventures really do operate in regards to their own standards of morality! It must hurt them tremendously to realize that First nations spirituality and the other earth based religions and even some of us in the gay community have better values than they do. So I won't enter into a competition with them on this point, but I will centre myself and calmly tell any Conservative, nee Reform, nee Alliance that the "economic violence" done by structures they support, removes them from any discussion. Read the following, and my message will be somewhat more clearly understood.

http://www.augustana.ca/rdx/eng/activism_eng.htm

What does Pro-Canadian Mean?

I encourage anyone who is interested in Canada and Canada's independant view to read the following link. It is essential that we hold to "our sense of ourselves" as a people just as much as it for us, as gay folk to hold onto our own sense of personal identity!

It is from our centre of truth that we relate to others both as individuals and as a country. In the late nineteenth century Canada was often depicted as a virginal young woman still clinging to the skirts of a protective mother (Britian) and Uncle Sam was depicted as the leering lecherious old man eyeing the young woman.

I see Canada as a woman, trained to be co-dependant, being courted by a scheming and dishonest Uncle Sam. Uncle Sam has his own agenda of exploitation, but the young woman is drawn to his strength and wealth. Having struggled long to free herself to some degree from the attachment to her mother, she is in danger of giving up her power to be in a relationship.

Please read the following link for a better understanding of a Canadian point of view.


http://www.thetyee.ca/Views/2005/03/23/ProCanadian/

Blessings.....your faerieshaman All My Relations Namaste

Pink Panthers Welcome Conservative Party

Source:http://www.xtra.ca/site/toronto2/html/sodomobile.shtm

When Tina Comes to Visit

I have discovered Tina is sharing the same apartment building with me! She / He is the most unwelcome guest! Tina has no regard for personal boundaries and gives the building an unwelcome look. I find she / he can be found in my laundry room, emptying a load of mildewed clothes out of a big blue recycling bin, after being been thrown out of the very apartment where a welcome was worn out. You will find his spit and or urine on the floor in the elevator.

She loves the boys upstairs! For the last few days, my partner and I have been plagued by the thumping of the bass from a stereo system tuned just right to please her! I have watched her throw garbage from the livingroom window above ours, which is 5 stories above the alley way. I am tired of the fact that no one wants to own her as their guest and their problem! Every time I mention her presence to the manager of the building, I am told, "it is a problem."

I believe in compassion! But I am having difficulty when the compassion feels like, nay, is coming at the cost of my life quality. I apologize for sounding hard hearted, but I believe it is time to put the pressure on Tina and tell her she /he is not welcome in our community! We haven't any problem telling smokers to butt it out because it affects our health, so why not make it a personal campaign to tell Tina to shove off!

And don't tell me, it is a sex enhancer! It is destroying the remainder of the gay community that has survived HIV /AIDS and the never ending oppression of a heartless socio-economic consensus built on heterosexist and homophobic values. Time to take responsibilty for ourselves, girls! Guys tell Tina: she can stop telling you lies about how good she is for you and get out of your communty!

This is my personal take on the situation......and I am sticking to it!

Go have some healthy, meaning mutually communicated safer sex.....whatever that means for you. But do it sober....so you can choose how you connect with the other person.

Love.....the faerieshaman

Wake UP Canada!

I encourage everyone who is concerned about our distinct Canadian identity and our popular national will to read the following article by Murray Dobbin.

http://www.cbc.ca/insite/COMMENTARY/2005/3/15.html

The time has come to really stand on guard for Canada!

Gay Men and Sex Talk

I have just finished my fifth round with a specified book and a group of men who really loved to connect over ideas. For me, it was a tremendous experience to connect with others and share our histories of what it meant for us to be gay men.

Last Saturday, we gathered to select another book. We selected through a group process the book, Dancing Around the Volcano, Freeing our Erotic Lives: Decoding the Enigma of Gay Men and Sex; by Guy Kettelhack. So the new group starts on April 12th at Gayway and for six weeks, we do what comes naturally.....we talk about the way we have sex and / or the way we would like to have sex. This seems a fitting step since we have talked about our individual experiences on "coming in" to our own identities as Gay men and our subsequent discovery and engagement with "the gay community/ culture."

Over the last few days, I have become very excited over a planned "camping trip" at Shadow falls. Several Vancouver Radical Faeries expressed a desire to camp at our local gay camp ground. Since discovering my faerie self, I have created a space where I may act out of heart and be playful! This space and group energy has given me an arena where I may experiment with the ideas talked about in my book discussion groups. I live in a wonderful world and "as a spirit having a human experience," I look forward to "living into my experience" of this life with more consciousness as I grapple with what ever life may have in store for me.

I am convinced, no matter what happens to disapppoint me, life is the final word! All the pains and sorrows that the media exploits and the machinations of fear and dissension that politicians use do not give the final word on what it means to be alive! My hope is all the men I come into contact with may through our shared time and discussion become aware of the inner journey that is available to all of us. The experience of being gay in these times may not be important to us alone, but it may be necessary for the survival of the planet. In the Healing Wisdom of Africa : Finding Life Purpose Through Nature, Ritual, and Community by Malidoma Patrice Some; the role, our role as the ecstatic gatekeepers is explained!

So there is great work to be done brothers and sisters; let us love ourselves into the grand purpose before us. Play, have sex, connect with our brothers because there is great power in becoming aware of our own identity and finding those who share not only the gift of cum and sweat with us, but the will to create intimate and local community with its web reaching into the global village.

Love to you, my brothers.....

Faerieshaman

The Feminine Undermined and Under-estimated

Over the last few months, I have become keenly aware of how some gay men, myself included, diminish the feminine in our lives. I live in a gay enclave, ( no it is not a ghetto!), and I have noticed how we super eroticize the supermacho! It does not admit to the gifts the drag queens and the fem boys bring to our community as a whole.

I need to be conscious of both the super feminine and the hyper masculine and also enjoy the diversity that exists in the middle! This mya be exactly the characteristic bringing fear into the hearts and minds of many straight people. This is a sign of the power we have to be evident in society, so maybe we should be prepared for the fear based hate projected at us.

What should we do? Be bold.....accessorize and gender blend! Keep the hunky facial hair and chest hair and match it with a blue satin dress. Walk in groups and walk tall.......who knows the next straight man who talks to you may be facing his own fears and need your help......

Blessings,

Faerieshaman