A Loner Comments...

Having spent most of my life as a loner, I enjoyed a few years of putting my social self forward. I found out I could be more extroverted than I could have imagined! But I realize it takes energy to do this, add the emotional / psychological stress of living with HIV and my age ( 47) and all together it shapes my present perspective. I, now, realize I am a loner again! I am grateful I have a husband who loves me or else I would be a grumpy old curmudgeon indeed.

I feel I need to create a safe and secure space for myself. I see the world as a very threatening place these days. I know I am not alone. I am not referring to the world situation per se, but I am thinking of this new plight of Crystal meth in the gay community. I feel like a Canadian Larry Kramer and I want to say "take responsibility for your lives and grow up!" I believe in personal freedom, but this PnP phenomena is affecting my public space. Personal freedom, for me, is the freedom to explore sexuality and its many dimensions without the addition of chemical poisons. Barebacking is nothing compared to the scourge of crystal methamphetamine!

Where is the gay morality squad now? I have been surprised at the number of responsible persons who are engaging in the PnP scene. My guess is this is the reason all is quiet on the home front. In Vancouver British Columbia there is talk of a public ban on cigarette smoking and yet, there is the evidence of the very real ravages of crystal meth use in the downtown core of the city. The corporate media is, as usual, using sensationalism to discuss the topic. Just as disturbing is the deafening silence form the AIDS Service Organizations and the gay community itself. I find it all very disheartening.

The shameful liberal government in BC has waged an economic assault on the HIV / AIDS community, so it too, is responsible for the many who may have turned to crystal out of hopelessness and a feeling of being a disposable section of not only the community as a whole, but the upwardly mobile socio-econimically coddled part of the gay community. I hope, one day soon, there is an substantive announcement about how unwelcome crystal meth is in the gay community nad how dangerous it is for those tempted to use it. It is not a moral issue, it is a matter of caring for our community!

As a caring community, I hope we can show another lifestyle other than those who can "consume," purchase and buy are "worth more" than those who have talents and gifts to offer the community.

I am the faerieshaman